Queen Victoria on the American Presidential Election

We are not allowed to comment in public as Elizabeth knows. However one of the virtues of being dead is that you can say what you want without a lot of proles and Irish agitators having a go at you.

Am I the only one who has noticed that Brock Obama is a person of colour. They have a term for that but I can’t for the life of me think what it is. During my reign a lot of these coloured chaps were cannibals. Having said that you know it’s a blessing in disguise. No one could accuse him of being Irish.

His children are octoroons I believe and they seem like nice girls and they have a dog to play with. His wife is presentable. She reminds of a kitchen maid we once had in the palace.

Now as for this fiscal cliff everybody is talking about, it is a lot of nonsense. There is one sure way to avoid a fiscal cliff and that is a demi-tasse of urine in the morning, a little stretching and perhaps a walk in the rose garden. If you don’t have a rose garden a walk in the vineyards will do.

I rather like this Miff Romney man. He is white for one thing and you can never overestimate the importance of being white. I believe that is a play by Mr. Wilde who, as you know, was a notorious buggerer. Now to be fair buggerers have played an important role in the maintenance of the Empire. I need only mention the Duke of Wellington and you’ll know what I mean. The Ogre of Europe, Napoleon, was a dwarf and notorious fornicator. He ate with his fingers. The Duke always used a knife and fork. The Ogre lost.

But we digress. We were very impressed with Mr. Romney’s whiteness and that of his running mate Ryan Paul, who, we have in on authority is not the least bit Irish. White on white, that’s the ticket. It is unfortunate that enough American did not see it in that way. You know, once we let the wogs into Britain it was all downhill. They've pretty much taken over. When was the last time you bought a decent curry from a white man.

We have a workable solution for the Republican Party of America. We have it on good authority that if a white male procreates with a woman of colour, the colour of the offspring is diminished. We have it on good authority that if the practice is followed for four generations one will produce a white child. Now, how do you entice women of colour to participate? Theme parks with Ferris wheels, cotton candy, fireworks, all free of course. You’ll have the women of colour lining up to participate in the program. You might even entitle the endeavor:

RENEWING THE AMERICAN DREAM

Now of course this won’t work with the Irish, who are a despicable race and susceptible only to drink. Beware of including the Irish in such a program, although nominally white their hearts are as black as ebony. The Irish without a doubt are the scourge of mankind. I have it on good authority that the Irish are at least three limbs below a monkey on the evolutionary tree. Of evolution is nonsense, but you get my point. In fact during food shortages the Irish have been known to eat their children.

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