Sub-Lt. Jeffrey
Delisle of the Royal Canadian Navy was sentenced on January 10th
to twenty years in the hoosegow and a fine of $111,000 CDN for passing naval
secrets to the Rooskies. The PLF has recently completed its own
investigation into secret espionage activity in the Village of Parkdale.
During our investigation the PLF secret investigative team
of Assistant Commander Ron and Patti, a waitress at a local Parkdale
establishment were able to capture a top secret conversation between a high
official in the Chinese Ministry of State Security (MSS) and an important operative
of the Russian Intelligence Directorate (GRU).
We are pleased to be able to provide a transcript of this
shocking conversation to the Canadian people.
MSS Victor,
nice to see you, huh.
GRU You too,
Lee.
MSS So you buying
Canadian now.
GRU We shop the
world as befitting the importance of our nation’s
international stature.
MSS You buy
from us, huh.
GRU Only from
approved sources.
MSS I approve
all your sources. Give you good deal, huh? It’s okay I see you
blushing. You get any good stuff from
Sub-Lieutenant?
GRU Let’s just
say that the transactions with the naval officer were most beneficial.
MSS How much
you pay?
GRU I think we
paid fair market value.
MSS You think
so. You buy from me I give you discount. You boss think you
awesome.
GRU Why would I
buy Canadian goods from China?
MSS Listen
Victor, inside Oval Office there a little string. President Obama pull
little
string Prime Minister Harper jump up say, woof, woof. Okay.
GRU I think
it’s fair to say that Washington has a great deal of influence in Ottawa.
MSS He pull
another string Harper roll over play dead.
GRU Perhaps an
exaggeration.
MSS Okay no
exaggeration who own Canada?
GRU Certainly
the US is Canada’s largest trading partner.
MSS Okay next
question, who own the US?
GRU What’s your
point, Lee?
MSS Everybody
know China own US, so US own Canada, next time you in market for
information you
come to me I give you good deal, top notch stuff.
GRU Really?
MSS Is all
about Arctic resources Victor. They ours, huh. You wait and see.
GRU I don’t
think so.
MSS Confucius
say: A man only as faithful as his appetites. You want another latte?
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