Mary Dowser Reports: Cannibalism for the Middle Class

The indefatigably fragrant Mary Dowser, championship typist and world traveler has returned from her recent adventures in the American South and writes to us with her thoughts on a dystopian future.

Mary Dowser Reports: The Masters and IBM: A Good Fit

TVFP is pleased to welcome championship typist and indefatigably fragrant Mary Dowser who writes to us from Augusta Georgia:

The Occupational Health & Safety Act for Whores: A Primer

BROTHELS LEGALIZED IN ONTARIO

The Parkdale Liberation Front Presents:

The Occupational Health and Safety Act for Whores, A  Primer

Chester the Silver Back Gorilla's Toronto City Hall: The Inside Poop

Chester the Silverback Gorilla writes to us:

Insiders at City Hall will tell you there is a new sheriff in town. After months of blustering and BS it has become clear to members of council that a) the current mayor is a few shovels loads short of a subway tunnel and b) the dope whispering in his ear really is a dope.

Almost by default City Council is turning to a councillor who has shown leadership and rational rather than wishful thinking on the transit file, Karen Stintz. While a great many people, including the Prime Minister, prefer subways, unfortunately, like the F-35 fantasy plane, they are too expensive and there are suitable and efficient alternatives.

So while the Mayor and his dopey sidekick and their faithful dog Georgie posture and blather on Ms. Stintz is calmly and resolutely trying to move the city forward. She is doing so with a combination of intelligently presented arguments, a willingness to seek consensus, personal dignity and grace and a steely determination. Just the sort of abilities and attributes that a real mayor should possess.

The Mayor, having botched the Transit File, has moved on to sort out the energy challenges facing a major metropolis. For a further insight into the inner goings on of the Ford Administration  please click on the link to the following documentary:

 The Hydro File

With Rob Ford as Larry, Doug Ford as Moe and Giorgi Mammoliti as Curly.

Afghanistan: Have We Got A Rug For You

Men are fundamental and women are secondary, or so says the Ulema Council of 150 leading Afghani Muslim clerics. The President of Afghanistan, Hamid Karzai, agrees.

The Infant Mortality Rate is a universally recognized indicator of the overall health of a society. For instance, in societies with a 23.1% IMR you don’t see many career or lifestyle choices for women. When you get to the IMR for Afghanistan, well, follow the photo link  below.

The Infant Mortality Rate in Deaths per Thousand

Canada Overall                   5.1

Canada Inuit                      23.1

Ten Years of Western Involvement in Afghanistan

        2001       147.0

        2011       149.0

The Revolutionary Association of the Women of Afghanistan: Photo Gallery

This post is brought to you by:

The Big Smoke Blues

Cover pic is in the public domain courtesy of davric

The Canadian IMFs are from a report by Janet Smylie: A Review of Aboriginal IMRs in Canada

IMRs Afghanistan

The Parkdale Liberatin Front Presents: Building for the Future

 

The Parkdale Liberation Front presents:

Building for the Future

As the consequences of Global Warming, Global Dimming, the Acidification of the Oceans accelerate our children and grand children will be confronted with some hard choices on how to provide shelter, food and security for themselves and their families. Let's begin this series with shelter:

This simple serviceable structure has been in use for thousands of years. Its chief selling feature is its portability. A modest size tepee say for a family of four is easy transported on a hand pulled cart or a trapois.

Similar to the tepee. Easy to erect and transport.

Estimates vary but it is probably fair to say, with failure of Kyoto and Durban, that by the turn of the century the earth will be able to support a human population of about 100 million individuals (current earth population 9 billion). In the unlikely event you are able to find a stable, defensible location the log cabin has been a practical solution to shelter for thousands of years.

 

This an early example circa the 2^nd century of the Common Era of an obstacle meant to keep out hostile groups. While quite a large undertaking such an endeavour may be necessary as wave upon wave of starving humanity moves into the cooler more habitable areas of the northern hemisphere.

Coming soon in this series:

Edible insects and fungi

If you have a pet you have protein

Cannibalism, simple and nutritious recipes for the family on the run

Composting the dead

How the barter system works


This Post is brought to you by:


Jim Read

The Return of Mary Dowser: Kapitalism for Kids

 

The always fragrant Mary Dowser, the championship typist of Parkdale, has returned to us on the advice of Sub Commandante Marcos of the rebel Zapatistas. She has left behind her amorous adventures in Mexico with Hugh Firmin, the Consul's brother in Malcolm Lowry's Under the Volcano, as well as a sojourn in the Yucatan with Don Juan and his jaguar avatar, in order to apply herself to service in the Dominion of Canada. TVFP is pleased to announce that she will be presenting a series of programs dedicated to helping children understand the adult world in which they are forced, for a time, to live. A heartfelt welcome back Mary Dowser from TVFP.

Hello kids, my name is Mary Dowser. I hope we're going to be good friends. Today I want to talk to you about how Charity works in the world of Kaptialism. So today we’re going to look at:

Uncle Billy.

Uncle Billy has just donated a lot of money to build a hospital for children. The hospital is called:

UNCLE BILLY'S HOSPITAL FOR GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS

The hospital cost a lot of money. More money than you or I could ever imagine. But then Uncle Billy has a lot of money, more money than he could ever spend, that is unless he spent it on charitable things like hospitals.

I know exactly what you’re going to ask. Where did Uncle Billy get all this  money? Well Uncle Billy is a Kapitalist. He owns a mining company that extracts valuable metals from the earth. He sells these metals to other companies for enormous profits. Do you have a question Andy?

Andy                My Mom says mines are bad.

MD                  Well, the mining process produces tailings. These tailings poison the

                        environment.

Debbie            What about the kids who live in the environment.

MD                  Mines poison the kids too.

Candy              So Uncle Billy poisons kids. Do they have a hospital to go to?

MD                  No. These kids live in far off places that nobody cares about. Besides if Uncle

                        Billy built hospitals for those kids maybe he wouldn’t be able to build a hospital 

                        for you.

Donny              Is that fair?

MD                 That’s Kapitalism.

Debbie            I don’t get it.

MD                  Kapitalism isn’t for everybody. If it was there wouldn’t be enough resources

                        to go around. Kapitalism is just for the strong. 

Candy              So we’re lucky to live in Canada, because we’re Kapitalists.

MD                  That’s right. Good for you Candy.

This post is brought to you by:

Jim Read

Follow the link to sample and purchase my short stories.

All pics are in the public domain.