Sunday, May 20, 2012

The Mary Dowser School of Business Education

The Mary Dowser School of Business Education

The View From Parkdale is proud to announce that Championship Typist and World Traveller the ever fragrant Mary Dowser will be opening a virtual school of business education. As you know Ms. Dowser has interviewed Che Guevara during his vacation from Hell. She has also liaisoned with Hugh Firmin, the Consul’s brother-in-law in the Malcolm Lowry novel Under the Volcano. Ms. Dowser has corresponded with the Chiapan Zapatista rebel, subcommandante Marcos. Ms. Dowser, as you can see from her previous correspondence with TVFP, has spent time on an Irish coffin ship during the horrific British genocide. She has hob-knobbed with the ancient Gods of our native peoples, including Great Manitou and Quetzachoatl. She has also spent time with the Mexican magician Don Juan in both his human and jaguar form.

TVFP is pleased to present a selection Mary Dowser's upcoming virtual course offerings:

Investment Mgmt 101: Toilet training for Investment Bankers

Investment Mgmt: 102: Why pinch a penny when you can pinch someone’s life savings

Marketing: 101: The Commodity Fetish, the genius of marketing to the gullible

Marketing: 102: Lying, the necessary virtue of high end marketing

Economics: 101: Ten secrets of the coin flip

Economics: 101: Honesty and integrity in crystal ball gazing.

Entrepreneurship: 101: The four basic principles of applied greed

Business Ethics 101: You can always fool a fool, or a sucker IS born every minute

Salesmanship: 101: How to look sincere, the 'method' approach

Labour Relations 101: Team building exercises for expendable employees

- Fees start at $500 per course. 
- Financial experts, including bankers, accountants, insurance salesmen, must pay the full course amount prior to enrollment.
- Applicants possessing a university degree may be required to take a remedial English grammar and spelling course.
- Books, scribblers and pencil cases are extra.
- Financial assistance is available at current credit card interest rates, approx. 20% per annum. If an applicant is employed by a retail establishment interest rates are 30% per annum.
 - There are no refunds.

No comments:

Post a Comment