THE PARKDALE LIBERATION FRONT
PET BYLAW FOR A CARING SOCIETY
PETS ARE A RESPONSIBILITY NOT AN ADORNMENT
THE PARKDALE LIBERATION FRONT recommends that annual licences for all pets increase from current levels to $263 per annum. As well the PLF recommends a $14 surcharge per pet to be dedicated to building bike lanes in wards that did not elect a troll to City Council.
All pets, regardless of species, shall be equipped with a state of the art Neutron Sensitator chip. This tiny but revolutionary advance in pet care will be surgically installed in the pet’s head.
The Sensitator chip monitors poop and scoop routines. Failure to scoop after your pet poops will cause the Neutron Sensitator to instantaneous explode inside your pet’s head, blowing it to smithereens.
Similarly failure to pay your pet licence exactly on time will cause the Sensitator to instantly blow your pet’s head off, right off, blood, brain matter and bone fragments spewing everywhere maybe in your bed, maybe in your living room, maybe while you’re walking down the street in a crowd glued to your iPhone, kaboom, instant pet head splatter.
As well THE PARKDALE LIBERATION FRONT is currently working hard to reduce the abandoned and feral feline and canine problem that plagues our city. To this effect we are lobbying for the creation of a permanent school of Feline and Canine Cuisine at George Brown College. The envisioned school would be staffed with top chefs from China and Vietnam and other countries where pets are valued not only for puerile sentimentality but also for their protein.
THE PARKDALE LIBERATION FRONT calls on Mayor Rob For to get real on pets. If you agree send a message:
or maybe call this guy to get real on contraception for pets:
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