Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Parkdale Liberation Front: Health Warning!!!


The Parkdale Liberation Front, Department of Health, currently located on the patio of The Rhino on Queen West in Parkdale has recently issued a cautionary Health Warning:

The Tim Hudak 
(Leader of the Progressive Conservative Party of Ontario)
virus is coming to your Hood

The deadly virus pictured here:


has currently infected about 30% of the Canadian Population. Similar viruses in the United States and Europe are widespread. In US Right to Work states, the virus is estimated to infect over half the population.

Symptoms: What to look for:

- individuals infected with the TH 666 virus have difficulty distinguishing between ideology and reality.
- the infection reduces and in some cases, particularly with politicians, completely eradicates the ability to reason effectively.
- the infection produces a very low tolerance for empirical data.
- in many cases the TH 666 virus causes individuals to hate-target certain groups, including but not limited to women, men, whales, visible minorities, the physically and mentally challenged, gays and lesbians, unions, squirrels, legal aid lawyers, cyclists and The CBC.

The Burning Question on Queen Street West:

Does the TH 666 virus make you stupid?

The Burning Answer to the Burning Question:


How can you as a rational human being protect yourself?

- if you come in physical contact with some one infected with the TH 666 virus immediately and vigorously wash your hands or any part of the skin that was in contact with the sick individual.  Use an industrial strength antiseptic. Chill with the McGarrigle sisters for a couple of hours. Hope for the best.

What if I’ve been infected?

- the problem is that you won’t know it. Suddenly you have all the answers, somewhere cool to go to after you’re dead and  somebody to blame for all your problems. One day you wake up in a beat up mobile home on cinder blocks and have a bowl of dog kibble for breakfast. Along the hall your are kids coughing, too sick to go to school, your wife sick and in pain. A soft wind delivers the eye watering odour of a pig abattoir down the road and you shed a tear for the almighty glory of your good fortune.

Alternatively you wake up in a million dollar penthouse loft condo with a beautiful man or woman snoring softly next to you. You gaze out your window at a rind of toxic smog over the lake, comfortable in the knowledge that your Porshe Carrera is snug and safe in the attack dog patrolled underground parking lot. You turn over and go back to sleep and dream of extracting more precious metals from the earth assured that the downstream poisoning of native people's land, the poisoning of their children and their future, ain't your problem.

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