Sunday, August 5, 2012


TVFP regrets to report that the ever fragrant Mary Dowser has died. Mary Dowser was a championship typist, TVFP correspondent, intrepid adventurer, intimate friend of Che Guevara, Hugh Firmin, Don Juan and Thomas Beckett. She was a friend to various Native American divinities such as Coyote Boy, Quetzachotl and Great Manitou. In a past life she was Mary Driscoll an Irish girl who escaped the English genocide in an coffin ship out of Cork. The indefatigably odoriferous Mary Dowser will be sadly missed.

The awesomely aromatic Ms Dowser was last seen forcibly abducted into a red Toyota Tercel outside a hotel in Kiev where she was covering the Euro 2012 futbol tournament for TVFP. Our sources discovered that the car was a cardboard cut out and that it was a prop for a film by Luis Bunel the famous surrealist director. When TVFP queried our sources on just how a person could be abducted in a cardboard car we were stymied. The investigation lagged, then it stagnated, there were mosquito larvae on the surface of the investigation. Enter Clara Kappelhoff.

TVFP Mary Dowser appearances, in chronological order:

Ted's Parkdale Kitchen

Ernesto 'Che' Guevara in Parkdale Part I

Ernesto 'Che' Guevara in Parkdale Part II

Changes at THE VIEW and Mary Dowser Reports

An Important Announcement and Mary Dowser Reports from the Yucatan

Occupy Toronto / Mary Dowser on Don Juan

The Wizards of Parkdale

The Don River Sold to the Saudis / Mary Dowser Returns

The Return of Mary Dowser: Kapitalism for Kids

Mary Dowser Reports: The Masters and IBM, A Good Fit

Mary Dowser Reports: Cannibalism for the Middle Class

The Mary Dowser School of Business Education


TVFP New Security Features / Mary Dowser Update

Mary Dowser Kidnapping Update

Ms. Kappelhoff is a respected and much loved Hollywood actress from the 50’s who, along with famous leading man and cross-dresser Roy Scherer Jr. made several frothy romances such as: Pillow Talk and Lover Come Back.

Ms. Kappelhoff is a life long supporter of the Republican Party of Mitt (The Twit) Romney and Sarah Palin and, like her equally blonde and iconic European counter part the French sex kitten and racist Brigitte Bardot, a committed animal rights activist.

Two days after the abduction of Mary Dowser Ms. Kappelhoff was reported to have complained to the Carmel-by-the-Sea Police Chief that a cardboard cut-out of a Toyota Tercel driven by a female in her late twenties, slim build, medium height, with a sepia tone orchid on her left shoulder, had been interfering with her horses. Carmel police, upon investigating, discovered suspicious one inch wide tire tracks around the equine enclosure.

Other famous people who live in Carmel-by-the-Sea:

Roy Chapman Andrews
Nora May French
Ira Remsen
Charis Wilson


Maeve Binchy on Jim Read

Maeve Binchy recently deceased and beloved Irish writer has written to TVFP from the other side: Jim Read is an iconoclast and a bit of a rogue. He is handsome in a rough bog Irish sort of way. His short book Dispatches from the Belleisle is a remarkable achievement. As James Joyce said of Ernest Hemingway's A Clean Well Lighted Place : he has reduced the veil between literature and life, which is what every writer strives to do. It is masterly. Indeed, it is one of the best short stories ever written  .  .  .  Ms. Binchy goes on to say, I get the same feeling when I read one of Jim Read's short stories.

Dispatches From the Belleisle

Follow this link to the Jim Read website to sample and purchase Dispatches from the Belleisle and other terrific stories for an eBook retailer near you.

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