Sunday, February 10, 2013

The Parkdale Liberation Front Uncovers Secret Espionage Activity in Parkdale

Sub-Lt. Jeffrey Delisle of the Royal Canadian Navy was sentenced on January 10th to twenty years in the hoosegow and a fine of $111,000 CDN for passing naval secrets to the Rooskies. The PLF has recently completed its own investigation into secret espionage activity in the Village of Parkdale.

During our investigation the PLF secret investigative team of Assistant Commander Ron and Patti, a waitress at a local Parkdale establishment were able to capture a top secret conversation between a high official in the Chinese Ministry of State Security (MSS) and an important operative of the Russian Intelligence Directorate (GRU).

We are pleased to be able to provide a transcript of this shocking conversation to the Canadian people.

MSS         Victor, nice to see you, huh.

GRU         You too, Lee.

MSS         So you buying Canadian now.

GRU         We shop the world as befitting the importance of our nation’s 
                  international stature.

MSS         You buy from us, huh.

GRU         Only from approved sources.

MSS         I approve all your sources. Give you good deal, huh? It’s okay I see you
                 blushing. You get any good stuff from Sub-Lieutenant?

GRU         Let’s just say that the transactions with the naval officer were most beneficial.

MSS         How much you pay?

GRU         I think we paid fair market value.

MSS         You think so. You buy from me I give you discount. You boss think you

GRU         Why would I buy Canadian goods from China?

MSS         Listen Victor, inside Oval Office there a little string. President Obama pull
                 little string Prime Minister Harper jump up say, woof, woof. Okay.

GRU         I think it’s fair to say that Washington has a great deal of influence in Ottawa.

MSS         He pull another string Harper roll over play dead.

GRU         Perhaps an exaggeration.

MSS         Okay no exaggeration who own Canada?

GRU         Certainly the US is Canada’s largest trading partner.

MSS         Okay next question, who own the US?

GRU         What’s your point, Lee?

MSS         Everybody know China own US, so US own Canada, next time you in market for
                 information you come to me I give you good deal, top notch stuff.

GRU         Really?

MSS         Is all about Arctic resources Victor. They ours, huh. You wait and see.

GRU         I don’t think so.

MSS         Confucius say: A man only as faithful as his appetites. You want another latte?


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