Sunday, February 24, 2013

TVFP: New Apps for the New Age

1.              Mondo Cats:  lovingly shot pics of adorable cats, domestic and feral, eating their offspring and killing endangered songbirds.

2.              Extreme Epicure: beautifully rendered shots of master chefs preparing delectable dishes of dog, cat and monkey meat.

3.              Banker’s Delight: this travel app follows disposed families as they pack up their belongings in the Ford Escort and head down the road to East of Eden. Complete with interactive maps and historical anecdotes.

4.              For the worldly aficionado we have German Schiesse Porn, the certified organic version. Now available in HD.

5.              High on America: high definition videos of born again Christian children of both sexes shooting Mediterranean fish in a barrel with twelve gauge shotguns. It’s cute. They wear bibs. No level of difficulty. This one is for the tots in the family.

6.              India for Men: a gaming app that allows you to rape young girls, kill them and then throw them down a well. Eleven levels of difficulty.

7.              The Village of Small Huts: another gaming app that let’s you bet on which Native child will blow up first from sniffing gasoline. You hold the barbecue lighter. Awesome graphics. Four stars.

8.              African Safari Plus: this app lets you manoeuvre a bulldozer. This time sensitive app challenges the user to fill up the mass graves of victims of genocide, internecine wars, starvation and capitalism before the United Nations security force arrives to secure the perimeter and dole out humanitarian aid. Great fun for the whole family.
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